The Jeff Dean Facts
(Source: http://www.quora.com/Jeff-Dean/What-are-all-the-Jeff-Dean-facts)
- During his own Google interview, Jeff Dean was asked the implications if P=NP were true. He said, "P = 0 or N = 1". Then, before the interviewer had even finished laughing, Jeff examined Google's public certificate and wrote the private key on the whiteboard.
- Compilers don't warn Jeff Dean. Jeff Dean warns compilers.
- The rate at which Jeff Dean produces code jumped by a factor of 40 in late 2000 when he upgraded his keyboard to USB 2.0.
- Jeff Dean builds his code before committing it, but only to check for compiler and linker bugs.
- When Jeff Dean has an ergonomic evaluation, it is for the protection of his keyboard.
-
gcc -O4
emails your code to Jeff Dean for a rewrite. - Jeff Dean once failed a Turing test when he correctly identified the 203rd Fibonacci number in less than a second.
- The speed of light in a vacuum used to be about 35 mph. Then Jeff Dean spent a weekend optimizing physics.
- Jeff Dean was born on December 31, 1969 at 11:48 PM. It took him twelve minutes to implement his first time counter.
- Jeff Dean eschews both Emacs and VI. He types his code into zcat, because it's faster that way.
- When Jeff Dean sends an ethernet frame there are no collisions because the competing frames retreat back up into the buffer memory on their source nic.
-
Unsatisfied with constant time, Jeff Dean created the world's first
O(1/N)
algorithm. - When Jeff Dean goes on vacation, production services across Google mysteriously stop working within a few days.
- Jeff Dean was forced to invent asynchronous APIs one day when he optimized a function so that it returned before it was invoked.
- When Jeff Dean designs software, he first codes the binary and then writes the source as documentation.
-
Jeff Dean wrote an
O(N2)
algorithm once. It was for the Traveling Salesman Problem. -
Jeff Dean once implemented a web server in a single
printf()
call. Other engineers added thousands of lines of explanatory comments but still don't understand exactly how it works. Today that program is the front-end to Google Search. - Jeff once simultaneously reduced all binary sizes by 3% and raised the severity of a previously known low-priority python bug to critical-priority in a single change that contained no python code.
- Jeff Dean can beat you at connect four. In three moves.
- When your code has undefined behavior, you get a seg fault and corrupted data. When Jeff Dean's code has undefined behavior, a unicorn rides in on a rainbow and gives everybody free ice cream.
- When Jeff Dean fires up the profiler, loops unroll themselves in fear.
- Jeff Dean is still waiting for mathematicians to discover the joke he hid in the digits of PI.
- Jeff Dean's keyboard has two keys: 1 and 0.
- When Jeff has trouble sleeping, he Mapreduces sheep.
-
When Jeff Dean listens to mp3s, he just cats them to
/dev/dsp
and does the decoding in his head. - When Graham Bell invented the telephone, he saw a missed call from Jeff Dean.
- Jeff Dean's watch displays seconds since January 1st, 1970. He is never late.
-
Jeff starts his programming sessions with
cat > /dev/mem
. - One day Jeff Dean grabbed his Etch-a-Sketch instead of his laptop on his way out the door. On his way back home to get his real laptop, he programmed the Etch-a-Sketch to play Tetris.
- Google search went down for a few hours in 2002, and Jeff Dean started handling queries by hand. Search Quality doubled.
-
Jeff Dean puts his pants on one leg at a time, but if he had more legs, you would see that his approach is
O(log(N))
. - The x86-64 spec includes several undocumented instructions marked private use. They are actually for Jeff Dean's use.
- Knuth mailed a copy of TAOCP to Google. Jeff Dean autographed it and mailed it back.
- When he heard that Jeff Dean's autobiography would be exclusive to the platform, Richard Stallman bought a Kindle.
- Jeff Dean once shifted a bit so hard, it ended up on another computer.
- Jeff Dean can losslessly compress random data.
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